Selfless or Selfish?

I remember seeing Sri Raghavendra Mahime as a kid and wondering whether what happened to Saraswati, Swami's wife was fair? Should she have put an end to her life? If Swamy had not taken sansyas and become a monk then the world would have been deprived of a treasure so precious that perhaps was invaluable. Who deserved more attention, THE WORLD or HIS WIFE?

Thinking from Saraswati's perspective imagine a woman who is illiterate and in her mid-twenties with a seven year old child. As a girl she was dependent on her father and after marriage her husband, and later probably on her son. For the time being she is dependent on her husband who practically takes care of all her needs. My guess is that in that age women did not leave the house unless they were expected to be in a function or bring water when the well dried up.

And now imagine that woman who knows nothing of the world being told her that her husband agreed to his teachers request to become a monk. Her decision making rationality all her life was zero because she never took any decisions and now she had to accept the choice of her husband. There was absolutely no scope of compromise on the basis of options. What was she supposed to do?

Of course come to think of it she was an adult may be she took her decision in impulse, maybe she should have discussed about her future with Swamy who was planning to pledge his life for the betterment of mankind. I am sure a conversation and patience would have helped her understand the situation better and rethink her strategy. Then the question that arises in my mind is that why did not swamy talk to her and wait till she gained confidence to live on her own and single parent her child? The truth is no one knows what happened and come to think of it I feel that Swamy was passionate about everyone around the world and he might have definitely tried to convince Saraswati. But sometimes decisions have fatal consequences.

This is where the thought that things would have had been way different if Saraswati were educated which again throws more light on the fact that education especially for women is power. It provides them with independence at all time and all places (except the US where visa problems never end).

Moving on towards the end when Saraswati did become a demon she was granted salvation by Swamy. She was forgiven mostly for the same reasons that I mentioned. Saraswati was too young and too inexperienced to bear any kind of responsibility in her life. Moreover she had already experienced too much poverty and pain in her life. She bore all the pain thinking that her husband was there with her. Swamy was her biggest support, her inspiration. And the thought that he would not be in her life anymore must have scared her. There is so much to think about Saraswati that I wonder if people give her their thought or take time to understand her pscyhe?

If she had been a little older or a little stronger she would have known that Swamy would have made sure that she was taken care of and provided for her. So much so that in the end she would have had been escorted to heaven. This way or the other she did get heaven and till date she is respected and revered for what she was and what she did.

As humans we all make decisions. Some rational and some irrational. Maybe if there were no heart in a human body then the world would have had made much more sense and would have had been way linear. But world is not linear and humans are not perfect. Saraswati's story made me ponder and think for almost a decade and I feel that all as a woman I can do is not feel sorry for her instead respect her decision. Swamy did then who am I to question it? She might have been selfish but she was helpless and lonely. And we all know what happens when people are helpless and abandoned?

Her life has inspired me to reach out to every woman I know is in distress or needs my help. My single goal of promoting literacy among women is growing stronger and stronger. Its not beauty, its not money. What gives women self confidence is education. There is no doubt in my mind about that. Women come in all shapes and forms some are good some are bad and some are exceptions. But at the end of the day they are someone's wife, someone's daughter,someone's sister.....

Saraswati was Swamy's wife and she cared for Swamy and Swamy cared for her. What happened, how happened no one will know. Selfless or selfish what matters is that Saraswati got salvation and a permanent place in heaven. If she had not done what she did she would still get salvation. And I for one want to leave the argument at that knowing and hoping that if I can reach out to even one Saraswati out there then it would be equal to serving Swamy and mankind.

Her life story tells me that sometimes its alright to be selfish and sometimes you have to be selfless. Selflessness would have helped her live and help her son but the means were not in place then and now with Swamy's grace there are means and resources and all of these can be put to use to serve one Saraswati and all Saraswati's.

Amen.