Blogging my heart out!

After a long time of wrting things that the artistic side of my brain made me write, I wondered, Was I loosing my edge on writing things that I felt strongly about but chose not to write because I thought it would be just not so very appropriate to the kind of audience that I open up to? Just last month when in India one of my dear cousins went,"I hope xxx has not read about her.It might become an issue, you know" I was pretty upset after hearing her comment. It was not like I had hurt my cousins feeling. It was just my perspective on her life. I still remember the time when blogging had not picked up much with people. My friend and I started blogging our minds oblivious of the fact that it was actually open out there to god knows who and where on earth.

My naive friend and I apparently discussed about our puppy loves on our profiles that so very much showed who we were and as a result our post was read by many people which also included our classmates. As so it happens with all teenage girls soon we were talk of the town. Not that my batch mates cared hoots about our love lives. They infact had enough dirt on themselves and obviously were busy covering it. I guess what got them to indulge in our lives was the element of surprise. They were probably just surprised that two nerdy looking women could manage to have feelings and get looks from some more than average good looking men.

Well after a few tense days things came to normal and the fear that word would reach home eventually passed. Having faced the worst my friend and I changed our identities and blogged anonymously. That was my experience as a stupid teenager who had no idea as to how the world worked. That was then and this is now.

For a long time I blogged my feelings anonymously and then one day I had an awakening and decided I had to blog publicly. One of my blogs was mis read by a bunch of readers. Or let's say two things happened, either their inferiority complex kicked in or they read two much between the lines. One of them went to the extent of saying,"Hey you are out there so you will be read and you cannot just write anything."

That sent me a message that who ever said that had forgotten that America is a free country and my right is protected under the First ammendment. Well so much for that statement. Of course it also proved a point that people read what they want. If someone is opinionated there is not much one can do about it. Its like having cataract. You see what you want to see and go blind on so many other things.

In fact I once encountered a woman who said being gay was related to mental sickness. I was deeply offended by her statement. But then I could not stop her from speaking her mind since thats what democracy is all about. I have opinions too. There are things and people I do not like and I do not mind talking about it. No matter who says what. The point is to learn to disagree respectfully.

When blogging I have seen people over react to issues they feel is wrong and when counter attacked they feel over whelmed. That is one attitude I never understood. Its like a stand up comedian who knows to laugh at others but himself. Then there are these set of people who end up using others as agony aunts. To begin with I highly doubt if they themselves know what the whole agony is about.

My cousin in Europe blogged about how clean the trains in Europe were and how he would have to return to his hometown in Mumbai and travel in dirty local trains. This caused a furoar in his blog. He was almost titled as a traitor. His good friends took offense. The point is he compared apples to apples. He just put forth his concern that India was developing but not in every way. Honestly after he visited US and Europe twelve years ago he became a revolutionary. He keeps his building and whatever area he visits spick and span. He is on a mission and infact he did blog about that but apparently people suffer with short term memory loss and they missed it.

Criticsing one's own country does not make one less patriot. Infact the people who attacked him where his colleagues and friends settled abroad. Other than running marathons and 5ks for charity purpose (I am one of them ;-)) they did not actually visit their motherland and take things into their hands. It is one thing to donate money and time to raise money and another to make it your personal cause and mission and work on it. Of course apples cannot be compared to oranges. Both are charity work and stand good in their own way.

The point I am trying to make by giving this example is that before commenting it is very important to understand a person, premise and where he/she is coming from. For this very reason reading comprehension carries so much emphasis in GMAT and other entrance exams. Because half the problem in this world happens when people are opinionated and refuse to understand matter the neutral way. It is important to master the art of reading in between the lines just the right way. Not to over or under read it.

One example was working with groups when in school. Most of my team mates were used to working in silos. Some of them were disgruntled because of divorce, job, money,unhappy marriage. Gosh the list was endless. Half of them including I had our moods affected by the economy. Anyways I noticed that when face to face in a group even worst of discussions were sorted out easily. It was the email part that killed our unity and progress. Someone would send his/her work and someone would comment something and the former person would read it in a bad mood and comprehend it to be an insult not even an attack and boom the walls would crack and little boys fingers would crush trying to save the dam.

That was a big lesson for me. From then on I try my best to not discuss critical issues through mail. Its always better to say things face to face. Unfortunately blogging does not give that opportunity and that is the sole cause of problem. It gets worse when someone just comments for the heck of commenting. It is like what Galileo faced in Italy. I am sure there were many who thought he was right about earth but attacked him anyways because they thought union of a lot of like minded opinions made untrue things true. And for poor Galileo this proved fatal.

Well I guess that's human nature! Locking horns or difference in opinion has been a major problem for centuries. It is there in every sphere of life. Between parents, children, friends. Disagreements are like accidents they are deemed to occur and so is the problem with blogging.

Schools offer courses in the area of communication and active reading. Unfortunately I do not see much of its application in real life. In fact even I sometimes get swayed with emotion when reading emails or books.

Anyways after a lot of pondering about these things, countless hours of arguing with sister and cousins, and reading Ayn Rand to soothe my mind (not that I follow what she says either, of course I try) and not to mention soul searching I decided to blog what I feel irrespective of others opinion which I know and you know is hard to change and have been blogging about my feelings now for quite some time.

And to go to the basics were not blogs supposed to be like diaries. Of course no one reads diaries but the point is that if I want to blog and can't blog what I want then I would have to also maintain a diary. That's high maintanence for me! So where do I draw the line? If I do not write my heartfelt feelings when blogging then would I not be cheating myself and my conscience?

Too many questions and too few answers. Expending any more energy on these thoughts I decide would be a futile effort.

Hence, I conclude my blog by deciding to blog what I want to blog with the hope that who ever reads it, reads it not more, not less, but the right way with a pinch of salt and a whole big bottle of tequila.

Amen!