Mommy Diaries Part II

A peek into the past few weeks of my life is a testimony to the amount of time and research I have done to order every single thing for my kid. Starting from the smallest such as a pillow to the biggest item that is the "CRIB!" Yes, I have spent numerous precious hours making list and sense of what is good for the unborn one.

I tell this to my sister and she laughs out loud saying all she had when she brought her son home was a cradle made of six yards of cloth, a bottle from which he never sucked milk, and some local cereal and of course ton of clothes. Well that was India and this is the US and apparently even India has hep moms who are now putting a lot of time and effort into buying things for their little one. My grand plan is to get the best of things at cheapest of price. And this means devoting unlimited number of hours on the internet trying to understand what beats all other brands and why?

To help future momies I have decided to record every single thing that I bought in the past for my kid.

Rule number one: First thing every pregnant mother should do is to register herself as amazon mom. This is one good way to get discounts on a lot many items and also get goods shipped (selected ones) for free. That's at least what I did.

Rule number two: Look out for safe products in Consumer reports.com. I chose the crib accordingly. Emily crib from Da Vinci is a decent and reasonable deal in amazon. I could not find any other site or store that could beat their prices plus it was free shipping.

Rule number three: Dressers are not but changing tables or trays are a must!!!! I have heard and read enough about mothers getting back pain as a result of bending more than required to change their baby from time to time.

Rule number four: Swings are important but not a priority. Somebody will surely gift swing, bath tub and other required things which can be used as is. Also a lot of friends and relative pitch in as in my case and offered me so many things which I would have had to have otherwise buy. For instance, bottle warmers, breast pumps, blankets, and so on.

Rule number five: It is very important that you spend good money on quality stroller and car seat. 90% of accidents of infants end up killing them or severely disable them for life. Hence durability and safety should be prority number one. We chose Chicco based on consumereports.com and did not regret one bit when we bought the product and checked it once we were home. It is so light and easy to use that I am already loving it.

Rule number six: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome is rampant in the US and other develpoed nations because we use cribs which require bedding unlike other countries where the cloth craddle or wooden craddle do wonders. It is important that the bedding be firm preferably posturepedic or ultra rest and see to it that it does not sweat the baby. If you notice that the baby sweats more often then return the mattress immediately and order another one. Too much heat can prove fatal for the baby.

Rule number seven: Rocking chairs or gliders are optional but essential. I spoke to enough mothers who vote for this product as it helps them soothe the child and breast feed it efficiently. Although personally I am yet to order this product. Will update which one I go for.

Rule number eight: Dresser is generally cheaper if you chose Stockcraft and it is widely available for order in Wal-Mart. I am still contemplating whether or not to buy a dresser as I do have wardrobe facitlity in my baby's room.

Rule number nine: Buy Boopy belt for yourself. Right after sixth month my belly and pelvic area started stinging and hurting thanks to the weight the baby put on the ligaments. Once I started wearing this belt it all changed for good. Now I walk more often and faster. Though I have aches and pain it is not just as worse.

Rule number ten: Nursing bra with correct measurements are a must. Or else the sagging will suck the sex appeal out of your body forever. Not that your girls will look the same ever again nevertheless its better to have some perkiness than loose all forever.

Rule number eleven: Shea butter works magic for stretch marks. A bottle costs around $5 and lasts for over a month. They will not disappear overnight but will surely lighten than they should.

Rule number twelve: Buy Arm and Hammer pail for disposing diapers. They smell damn good and that wins half the battle for me.

Finally take your time to relax and enjoy pregnancy. No matter what I take massages every month and mini massages at my chiro every fortnight. The benefits of which go a long way in making one feel content and happy if not for long then atleast momentarily.

For now so far so good. Next blog will be about how to deal with Gestational Diabetes-A guide for vegeterians! 

Rise and rise again!

!!Shoulders are heavy and I heave deep breath of sigh,
Only if I knew the way things happened and why?

The ocean from view looks mighty, vast, and deep,
I am helpless against it but Oh! No I shall not weep!

I stand over the edge and look deep down,
I am stoic, posed and wear will power as my crown.

I confront challenges that life throws at me,
I choose to fight and refuse to give up you see.

For all the ups, downs, curves, and breaks,
I throttle problems in life with all the effort it takes.

I know that troubles now gone will return again,
But my presumptuous spirit will wrestle and bear all the pain.

Trouble thinks its smart but there is a secret pain doesn't know,
That I may fall a thousand times and occasionally go slow.

But pain do know that I will rise, and stumble, until I rise again,
And when I do I will fight with all might and eliminate forever the pain!!

Will I, Can I???

It all started with the onion seeds that I bought at Home Depot with the sole intention of sowing them to reap a hearty crop in a time frame of sixty days. I did as instructed and waited for what ended up being the most anxious time in my life. Mere ten days later I had the stubs peeping up and I planted them with lots of hope. Alas! my dream was not to be realized that easy. A fortnight later they were all gone!!

Some uprooted by the nasty squirrel others just gave up for various reasons and that one massacre encrypted a depressing image in my brain and my soul was taunted. I used this experience as an analogy for my forthcoming motherhood. I wondered if I could not raise a plant then how on earth was I going to raise a child?

The thought kept me up for nights. Days obviously were busier than they should have had been. One thought led to another and the chain turned into a vicious circle of questions with hardly any answers. To solve my restlessness I decided to resort to fellow mothers who are also good friends. The unanimous reply was,"Enjoy life now. Once the baby comes your life will be practically over!" This response was not what I had entirely expected. I did know that motherhood was indeed a full time job but what I did not know was that it was more of torture than bliss.

From time immemorial I have always loved kids. I became a mother figure fourteen years ago when I held my half an hour old nephew in my arms and lightly kissed his forehead. It was from day one that I adored him, sang lullabies, read stories, fed, bathed, and cleaned him. My sister till this date tells me that I have more rights over him than she as a biological mother does.

To be honest I enjoyed every single moment of it and if I were given an opportunity to do it once more then I would gladly do it all over again. Which was true with my second nephew who was born seven years ago. Although my career kept me busy in his time I made sure to bond with him at every opportunity I got. Probably that is the reason that I weep every time at their birthday because the thought that my babies are turning into grown men is emotionally overwhelming for me.

No matter what their age for me they will always be my little ones the way they were the day they were born. Considering all this I am pretty confident that I who feed, clean, and play with my nephews and other random children would surely enjoy being mother to a child that I have had always so desperately wanted. Long time ago I came across a saying that read, "Its human to be a woman but divine to be a mother." I am a true believer of this one single statement.

Motherhood brings out the best in a woman. It fulills atleast for me that one side which is not very hard to explore. I always say this that if mothers ruled then the world would be a better place to live in. Come to think of it every single child with an outstanding character always has a mother behind him or her who has raised the child in a way so as it values the world and humans around it. There are exceptions but majority of the time a mother is who makes or breaks a child.

Considering that it is a privelge to be a mother I wonder why I get lousy responses such as,"Oh! Life is going to get busier with kids! Enjoy when you can! And god knows what?" I mean think of our ancestors who had their kids in less favorable circumstances but they had them and they raised them. Maybe given an option they would not have done it but having done it they did it as a part of their duty. Then why is it that women in this time and age think of having children as a burden more than a blessing?

One striking reason is of course freedom. A baby means responsibilities and not many men or women prefer that. But then why have kids to cover the perfect family picture. The point is to be happy isn't it? If one feels that a kid is a burden then they should choose not to have it. Why have kids for an eye wash and then drum about the challenges of being a mother?

In my case my husband took a lot of time to understand and estimate what fatherhood involved. Its only now that when he sees my bulging belly that he understands the gravity of the situation and responds to my requests. Be it shopping together or massaging my back. Bonding with the child now will take us a long way in future. To be very honest I wonder how single mothers deal with the enitre pregnancy drama. My experience is 85% unpleasentaries and 15% fun and not having a co-perating husband does not help emotional challenges. So through this blog I salute single mothers for their daring to do what two of us fail to face bravely.

I am no Gladiator or a saint but I know one thing for sure that the day I hold my baby in my arms will be the best day of my life and no comment or fear will ever stand between me and her. Come what may I make this solemn promise to be a good mother to her. To nurture her and to tend to all her needs. I am sure there will be days when I would want to run away for a week from all the chaos but I know that even if I did run away I would always want to come back to the tenderness of her love and affection. Every time I see her tiny feet, legs and face on the ultrasound monitor I automatically have tears of joy in my eyes.

If a child so tiny can bring tears to my eyes from inside the womb imagine what would happen when she would yawn or smile in my arms. So for now I refuse to listen to all the feedbacks I have so far recieved. So what if rearing a child involves sleepless nights and back pains I am still better than the penguin that struggles and fights bitter antartic winters to hatch its egg. I will derive strength from my daughters love and my sole purpose then on would be there for her no matter what.

After all I am a fully grown adult who consciously signed up for a role that not many women get to enjoy or experience. I take this blessing as a sign that the Almighty who gave me this baby will also give me the strength to deal with the chores that it involves and with that I hope that every mother who reads this blog knows that somewhere out there indeed is a mother who is happy to have her child and not exasperated and delusional or sorry for popping a baby out. Hopefully I too will be part of the latter and not the former group ;-)