Weighing games!

Question: What scares me the most? Answer: Cockroaches, spiders, death, pain, and of course the great weighing scale! Yes, I have always hated standing on that nasty machine that makes me hate my own body. But now that I am into the fifth week of my diet and exercise regiment I have no choice but to check my weight in order to gauge my progress. With a heavy mind and heart today I stood on the scale and guess what I officially lost five pounds! Yes! That was so encouraging. I mean I have heard stories where people work out all the time and loose nothing. For me who fits into such category it was a major surprise.

Having said that I would like to look back at these past weeks and recollect my actions to see what was that I did right and what was it that I did wrong!

1. I worked out every single day of the week for a minimum of sixty minutes.

2. Totally cut down "White" from my diet. My new mantra is,"White is blight!"

3. Drank lots and lots of fluids.

4. Measured every single thing I ate.

5. Ate once every three hours and avoided huge meals.

6. Kept away from starch and oily items.

7. Swam one mile once a week.

Now when I think of all that I did I feel that working out every single day of the week was a little harsh on my body which of course came out in the form of severe fatigue. I remember one of the days I was so tired that I could not get up from the bed. So by the time I reached third week I did work out all seven days of the week but I changed the intensity. In the sense three times a week I do cardio and the rest it is more of pumping heart rate which in fact was more effective than the earlier strategy. Five miles a day of walk at the correct pace can help burn more calories than one can imagine. As I said maintaining the correct heart rate is the key.

Second thing is food. I guess my idea of nibbling did not take me far along. My body refused to give up all kinds of food so I now incorporate everything in moderation though I still feel that,"White is blight!" I can see the difference of eating more fiber that white stuff which is nothing but carb plus it constipates me.

Third thing is not mentioned above since it is a bit personal. In the sense I have heard people say,"Oh! Breastfeeding is like walking on a tread mill!" Yeah right! I am sorry to disappoint women who believe that. Per my instructor breastfeeding burns calories but then it also commands the body to eat more and when one breaks the rule and skips meals then body gets nutrition from other places which means a woman can loose lot of calcium in her life time and end up with other severe problems. 

The point is to not loose 100 pounds in two months. Weight loss should be a slow and gradual process. For me unlike a supermodel the goal is to be healthy and that means I have to build up muscle strength or else I will loose a lot of fat with the muscle. Fat goes fine but if muscle tears then it is again a whole lot of complication.

So moral of the story is to do different things at different times. Also I noticed that swimming made me super hungry. So I found a solution for that. I eat 2 tbsp of potato after I swim and that curbs the hunger and I am good to eat small meals and continue my routine. 

All in all these five weeks were good and considering the fact that I need to loose close to another 30 lbs I better going with my fitness regime.

Till next weighing game!

Jazz me up!

Somehow we always want to think that we are fat and not overweight. We step on the scale again and again hoping that at least this time the scale will show a lower number, which of course never happens. Tired of this occurrence of a damned phenomenon I went ahead and bought a new weighing scale. But alas it showed the same weight no matter how many times I stepped on that forbidden piece of thing. Having failed my number game I decided to join a gym and control my diet. Yeah right! like I have never done that before!

Yes, I have made this same resolution a million times and a million times have I failed!

What caused such bitter result? Over the years I have realized that the prime reason for dissolution of my resolve is my severe consciousness about my body.For instance every time I would make my grand entry to a gym and step on a tread mill I would walk at 3mph slowly and then gradually increase my pace. Happy at my development and stamina I would decide to lift my head and gaze around.

Right here is where I realized I committed a grave mistake because suddenly some where in that corner I would see a skinny bitch running at 10mph and poof!!! my will power would shatter into a million pieces. And suddenly just like that like a tiny poodle pushing my tail between my legs I would slowly step down from the treadmill and drive home. Deprived of my much needed glory I would binge thinking I will walk an extra mile the next day, which of course would never happen.

This year too like many years my resolve began with my first jazzercize class. Trying my best to fit into my old gym clothes I entered the class filled with women excited to be where they were. Their smiles seemed so out of place. I  mean how can you dance and smile at the same time? Having retreated one too many times I decided to not look at others when working out. As soon as the instructor put on the music and moved her legs I did the same. For some time I had trouble coordinating my body movements. The first ten minutes were all about anger and anxiety and not being able to do what the instructor was doing.

Irritated I decided to see how indeed others were doing and there came the shock of my life. People around me were twice heavier than I was, probably renowned for their girth and danced awkwardly with no idea as to where their hands, head, or legs were going. Call me sadistic but right there lied my key to success. That was my moment and I basked in it!

I lived it for a few seconds and suddenly as happy I was I danced the very way I wanted to dance with a huge smile that beat all other smiles under the roof. For once I was thinner than others and I could dance better than the rest. Yay! So much for all these years wasted on a tread mill and elliptical machines next to those shriveled bodies that remotely resemble a woman! Sheesh!

Thank God for my revelation. From now on classes such as these are my best friend and yes I am all set to be jazzed away!

Shedding Keechy!

CK calls Keeshy and the conversation goes something like this, CK: "Hey Keeshy I won't be car pooling today."
Keeshy:"Why?"
CK:"I need to take a detour on the way."
 Keeshy:"That's fine man I can afford to reach office a little late I anyways work six hours you see unlike you who stays late."
CK annoyed,"Yeah that's not the point my work may take couple of hours."
Keeshy,"That's perfectly fine with me."
CK:"No No I do not and cannot make it. Sorry. Bye!"

Saying so CK slammed the phone on the table and looked at me in exasperation. It was at that moment that I burst into laughter which further infuriated CK.

Now for you as a reader to reckon the situation I will have to rewind a little bit.

On 23rd May CK and I bought our new house in Fremont, CA and as usual CK, a self-proclaimed environmentalist decided to hunt for prospective car pool partners at work. After a few days he recieved couple of responses which led to his healthy habit of car pooling. Some and alternate days they would all car pool together. So far so good. What happens next is disruption on this pleasant experience with the entrance of a very interesting character named Keechy.

Keechy who read the car pool mail was slow to react but was successful in convincing everyone that he could be a sustainable and reliable car pool partner which lead to the beginning of this drama.

Day One of car pool. Keechy drives up to our place. All sit inside CK's car and suddenly Keechy exclaims,"What man your RX model must be expensive?" For a few minutes no one understands the relevance of Keechy's question. In order to maintain peace and dignity CK replied,"Keechy you drive a Lexus car yourself don't you? That must be expensive too!" Keechy goes,"No man that car my brother gave it to me as a present. Personally I would never waste so much money on a car." To this CK's friends asked Keechy,"Your brother gave and you took?" Keechy,"Yeah man. He is rich. He founded his company and made it big. He shows it as gift for deduction and uses it whenever he needs it."

Everyone amazed at Keechy's luck decided to not talk furthermore although Keechy went on and on about how Lexus was a crimminal waste of money.

Day 2 another friend's turn. Keechy enters the car and goes,"Man Honda is so small no. Not much place for all. I feel tight tight can I move forward?" Friend goes,"Sure CK can you move to the back seat?"Grumbling CK does as asked. Keechy as usual moves to the front and says nothing to CK but manages to again criticize Lexus over Honda.

Day 3 another friend's car. Keechy enters the scenario and starts the conversation,"Prius is the best no? Full paisa vasool. I made calculations..."

Day 4 no one shows up but Keechy shows up at our door steps. "Hey CK no one showed up why man? Something wrong?" CK says,"Yes we all work from home on this day. Keechy's response to this,"No one told me man. I am all ready lets go." CK,"I cannot. I have decided to stay home and work remotely." Keechy,"No No I have to go." I enter the picture and tell Keechy that I need CK to stay home. Reluctantly Keechy drives alone.

Day 5 Keechy's turn. Keechy's contorted face is an indication that he did not like the idea of driving alone the previous day. Everyone anxiously waits for him to pull the car and Keechy goes,"I am not driving my car since I drove alone yesterday. I will pull car out next week. Fair game. It was not my fault that no one showed up yesterday." Flabbergasted CK decides to set controversy aside and volunteers to drive everyone. Once inside Keechy goes,"How much gas used so far man? Must be lots and lots!" That day I saw CK's other side when he confessed in me his budding desire to strangle Keechy.

Day 6: Keechy comes running to CK and calls everyone at work in the evening and says,"My wife is getting tense and is unable to handle our two daughters I should go help her." People decide not to pay heed to Keechy and continue with their work. That evening Keechy grumbles all the way about how fortunate others are to have wives who understand their husband's career and adjust accordingly. Per him his wife a "home maker" is incompetent and needs his help all the time. Additionally he cannot understand how people find work to do for more than six hours. For him eight hours leads to jittery nerves. The saga goes on till everyone's ears are sore.

That evening there was a gathering that excluded Keechy. For once men started scheming against their own kind. It was unanimously decided that Keechy should be left out from the group starting immediately.

However, the real challenge was to bell the cat. Who was to do it? That's when all the eyes turned towards CK. It was time for CK to become a cold-hearted leader.

And when the day dawned he made the much needed phone call that made me laugh to no ends because as soon as he kept the cell phone down it rang again and much to his dismay it was none other than Keechy leaving a very long voice mail. CK panicked and called others to assemble at a new place and just when he stepped out of the house guess who was waiting outside for him??????

Yes! none other than Keechy the great! Furious at CK for doing what he did he just walked straight upto CK and said,"Hey man don't worry. I have no hard feelings. Now where are the others? Come lets go its getting so late no!"

And with that the coup had ended miserably. The story remained the same and has continued ever since.

So much for master planning the shedding of Keechy the Great!

Hunting bride!

Off late there has been lot of discussion and speculation about my brother-in-law's marriage. Speculation why? Because his hunt for bride has now reached two year anniversary with futile results. Every time we call we hear one or the other story as to how and why the girl rejected him. All this furiates my husband who thinks that his brother should widen his options and be more flexible. His harsh words do not go well with his family and I beg him to cool down and make him understand that things are not the way it was six years ago.

I remember the time I got engaged to my husband. In our case my spouse had chosen me over five other contenders of whom I had absolutely no knowledge. And now is a day where women get to choose and this does not go well with the alpha males and dormant passively aggressive females.

Now why and how did this day dawn upon the Indian male species (No idea about other races)? To understand this we need to focus our attention on two things; one is the fact that male to female ratio has significantly changed with the latter reducing in number on a daily basis and number two is the fact that women as of this time and age have managed to carve a place for themselves in the society. Financial independence and self confidence has given them the much needed leverage that lacked in Indian society for a long time. This change in equation not only hurts majority of men who dominated over women almost forever but also women who want their daughter-in-laws to share the same fate as that of theirs.

Now come to think of it when there is more demand than supply why would a girl not pick and choose? Does being a woman mean that she cannot have choices? Definitely not! As a feminist I am all for gender equality and fairness but what bothers me is that some women when provided with options try to exploit the opportunity by giving it a different shade and color. How so is a question many a minds may ask!

Let me support or answer my argument with real life experience. My borther-in-law went to meet one of the many girls his parents had picked for him. Even before they could get acquainted with each other the girl asked him straight faced as to what his income was? For a minute my brother-in-law did not know how to react. His reaction was to pretend that he received an urgent call and leave. Now was what the girl did right? or let me put it this way should my borther-in-law have left instead of answering her question?

When I heard about his experience I felt nothing wrong with the girl asking the "income" question. What  actually bothered me was the timing. Beginning a conversation with a sensitive question killed both their chances. As far as my brother-in-law was concerned he was convinced that the girl did not like him hence repelled him by asking the "income" question.

Then there were girls who asked him if he would expect them to stay with his parents after marriage. And some who dared to call his parents, "scrap machines." Best was when one of the girls told him that she would marry him only if he agreed to the "five mile" clause. That is she would marry him only if he moved away five miles from his parents but closer to her parents. Some even tried to warn him that after marriage he could not ask them to contribute one penny of their income towards anything of his demand or choice. Amazed at his experience I wondered when did things go from docile to dynamite?

Answer is very simple. Ultrasound entered into the picture when parents adamant for a male child got rid of female fetus like weed. And who ever willingly signed up for daughters ended up owning the rarest inventory. They decided to raise their daughters boldly and offered them the best of what a male child was entitled to receive.

Apparently an open India offered such daughters a good life and career which parents welcomed with all cheers and laughter. Today these parents have daughters who have reached or crossed marriageable age but they do not seem to be willing to trade their daughter's who lay golden eggs for men who might not want to buy into this financial independent wife idea. I totally understand their fears and I support their idea. Why should a daughter be expected to not support her parents after marriage when a son can do the same married or unmarried?  Are only men entitled to take care of their parents? Surely not!

But what bothers me is that these very same parents who are in a deep dilemma, courtesy society's questions about their daughter's martial prospects, willingly or unwillingly push their daughters into marriage thereby placing their daughters in a very awkward position. This adds fuel to fire with women trying to strike a balance between what they want and what their parents want.Then there are specific issues related with women of certain professions who make it very clear that for them their career is their priority and would prefer not to have kids in future or quit work for any reason.

I understand all these cases and I am fine with women having ideals and desires of their own but what I do not understand is if women have so many constraints then why do they prefer to see men who do not fit their requirements? or Why get married to begin with because any married couple will admit that marriage is all about compromises. Not adjusting means ending a relationship before it even begins.

Also I am all for women who do not prefer to ditch their parents for in-laws after all a girl's parents deserve their love and support but when did naming parents as "Scrap" come into fashion? Not all in-laws live harmoniously and I feel its better if distance is maintained but when did "five mile" clause become a pre-requisite?

Is this what education and career does to women? I am yet to see. I keep telling my brother-in-law to widen his options and understand that women today are not like his mother any more. He agrees with me and admits that at this point he does not mind marrying any girl who is fine with how and what he does or is.

But then every time we call we try to dig information and it is then we realize that maybe he is afterall not ready to face these new breed of women. That he is still stuck in some era where women blindly followed their husbands footsteps and had no individuality. Or maybe he is scared that even if he did find the right girl then what are the chances that she will not divorce him? Just like him and his likes even we are confused and are  in the process of understanding what a girl today needs from a boy? Is it good character, money, or a toy that dances to their tunes?

Bigger question is whether we will ever know answers to any of these questions or is it that we are asking for just too much!

 For now all I know is just as much as you who reads know for rest of the time we will continue our hunt for the bride.

Facing the demon

Scene 1 (flick flick flick): I am feeding my daughter and the phone rings. I ignore it initially but then realize that the calls from Dr.Silverman. I rush over to grab the phone whilst my daughter shrieks at the top of her voice for snatching away the most favorite thing from her mouth. Not knowing what to do I dump her on the chaise and answer the call. After a hasty hi I ask Dr.Silverman what dreaded news does he have in store for me? Yes that's right Post partum check ups followed by phone calls from OBGYN are the worst nightmare for any woman. Almost all the time it ends up with a sad sob. In my case true to my hunch Dr.Silverman conveys the NEWS--"Roopali your HbA1c count is a little towards the higher end looks like you are pre-diabetic. Now I do not want you to panic just take it easy make dietary changes and follow up with an internist and everything will be fine."

Fine! How is anyone supposed to be fine after knowing something one does not wish to know. All my years of life I prayed dearly to God begging to not make me a candidate for diabetes and here I am witnessing an event that was not supposed to happen. I passed my thank you to Dr.Silverman and off I went to my baby who was happy to find the nipple she was deprived of a few minutes ago. I wept for some time and then staring vaguely I  decided to recollect all that happened from the ringing of the phone to ending the conversation with Dr.Silverman and I thought what is there to panic about. I mean come to think of it all my life only extreme things have happened to me and every time I have capsized fate's plan. This gave me courage and slowly my brains took over my heart and I decided to chalk down what I had to do to "Face the Demon."

First things first I met an internist who is of my ethnicity and understands South Asian lineage better. His advice was to get my physical done which I had avoided for a long time since I find it to be terribly boring and put me on a diet and exercise routine. Even before I could oppose he said,"Ms.Sharma I know you lead a busy life but for you its now or never." That was good enough to get me started. 

Whenever I could I visited the closest of gym and enrolled into their annual membership. I then joined swimming class and took up strength training. Today is Day one of my entire plan of not loosing weight but getting healthier is what I like to call it. Becoming healthy is more important to me than having Victoria Beckham's waist line. Not that I would not mind having one. But the point is to have smaller goals to keep one going. If I plan to walk 30 minutes I am sure I can easily push myself to 45 minutes. If I attend Jazzercise I am sure I will try and make it to Zumba. But if I straight away attend a boot camp and get exhausted then I know nothing will materialize and I will eventually give up.

Now having taken care of the physical part I need to concentrate on food habits. I have totally cut out white rice, oily items, too much dairy from my diet. Now its all about loading up on protein. Its not easy to move from one form of diet to another but its not difficult either. Its a simple policy that is easy to live with. Eat once in every three hours and eat small portions. Do that and there is a significant change in the numbers. 

Today is my first official day of exercising after fixing my dislocated pelvis bone (I have chronic sciatica) which means starting now I need to know how many pounds I am able to loose every week. For now weighing scale looks and feels ugly hopefully by the end of this month I will have something worthy to say. So till next month or who knows if I reach my goal earlier then till a fortnight.