My mother was the biggest influence in my life. She taught me to tell things the way they were. She said speaking truth was always the right thing to do. Something which along with her got me into trouble almost all the time. I became the "I SPEAK ONLY TRUTH WOMAN."
This attitude of mine got me very very few friends and when I say a few I mean one. Yes that's all I had. One friend througout school and one throughout college. My friend's name in high school was Bijal which meant,"two drops of water." Mom's looking for new and weird names this one's really good! Why they named her so is still a big mystery. Anyways there is an interesting story as to how Bijal and I became friends. I once told Bijal in front of her best friend that she was very pretty. Unable to keep quiet her best friend asked me as to how she looked and as honest as I was I told her the truth. I told her that she looked ugly. Well! Bijal's friend immediately abandoned her and found a new friend who was uglier than her and I had Bijal cursing me for my actions. Bijal tried hard to get knew friends but it was too late since groups had been formed and she was stuck with me for the next ten years of school.
Interestingly we had lot in common and our friendship took off. I was always supportive of her dreams and love choice which made me dearer to her and she always showed her friendship by buying me food, which at the time was the highlight in my life. I always tried to help her with studies but realized that she did not have the flair for it. I kept telling her not to force her into something she did not want to do. Bijal was and still is an amazing interior decorator. I kept pushing her to pursue her dreams and one day she did. Today she is happily married to the love of her life and along with him she runs a successful interior decoration business. She is glad to have had me as her friend and I am glad she took my suggestions with grace.
Then came college. I could not be with Bijal since my parents chose to move to the slowest town on the map of earth and as a minor I was stuck with them. My attitude in college was still the same. I cared for nothing but the truth. I had the ability to laugh at myself and accepted my shortcomings without much of an issue. Which was fine with me but not with others.
Amidst my chaotic and confused teenage life I came across Shobha. She was a repeating student and like me had no friends in that big and lonely class. She needed help and I was there to go out of the way for her. Out of the way I did. I dominated her all the time and I loved it. It was fun to pull her leg since she never got a hint as to what I was upto. She was the sweetest friend I could have ever asked for. She got so very motivated because of my criticisms that she cleared all her papers in the very first attempt and got into a very reputed accounting firm. She of course gives me the credit for it but I guess sometimes we need people to speak truth to us. Had I not told her about her weaknesses she would not have had ever made it. She got what she deserved and I am forever happy that only good things happened to her and hope good things keep happening to her.
Life moved on for me and my friends. Sometimes we would get in touch and laugh about the old times. But something had changed and as Bijal once said,"Who are you.?" I knew the old me was never ever going to come back. Corporate world and MBA had taught me to be diplomatic. I had learnt that not everyone loves truth and not everyone needs to improve in order to grow. And as Karma had it I was married to a guy who spoke nothing but the truth.
Not that I detest it. In fact I am glad that every time I look at him I feel like I am staring into a mirror. I am not totally reformed but it is of course work in progress. Now I am subtler than I used to be. I give opinions only when needed and respect one's feelings. I use strategies to deal with every situation and sometimes miss the days when life was simpler and straighter.
I miss the time when Bijal and Shobha taught me what patience was all about, what it meant to love unconditionally the way they did. They took everything that I said in and not once shunned me away. They taught me the meaning of the word consideration and forgiveness. Qualities that I still search for among so many more friends that I have made with my new attitude. And I am still searching. When I write this blog I see me eating chaat with them, playing in the beach with them and sometimes singing songs in loud pitch with them. My eyes become moist and my heart misses them. I am glad I grew up with them. Because I would not have been what I am today without my much cherished friends. Love you guys! And will always love you.
Today I try to be like Shobha and Bijal with my other friends. And when I try I know it is not easy. It is very hard. I have succumbed to anger and vengeance at times but I still try. And I will keep trying till I am perfect for all my friends who are out there and the way I used to speak, speak nothing but the truth.
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