Letter to Anupama.P.Rao

From the past four and half years that I have been in this country every single day my computer illiterate sister has always insisted on three things: Write me letters (email bhi chalega I will try to open), Gold Kharid!, and Chethan se jhagda mat kar take good care of him and yourself!

I never complied to the last two but when the nagging became too much I finally decided to write her "the letter"

Dear Anu/kyakya(that's the pet name chethan gave her because whenever I call her she spends the first few seconds asking what/kyakay in hindi!),
After a long time I am writing this letter to you and sending it using two different means of communication. One internet and the other mail. Hope either one of it reaches you at an appropriate period of time that is especially not when you are cooking, feeding/bashing the kids, teaching/bashing the kids or fighting with mother. Now about my life here in the US. Honestly for the first few days I used to cry a lot in Austin,TX because it is way too slow and isolated than California. As a result I prayed every day to God and today I am hail and happy in the bay area. I not only love the US but dote on it. Of course that does not make me a traitor because I consider India as my Janma Bhoomi and the US as Karma Bhoomi. And honestly who does not prefer a prolonged honeymoon free of nagging in laws and parents and especially a sister such as you. Ok Ok! I know right now you have tears in your eyes and are probably crying your ass off. And I miss you and the kids way too much. But then think about all the nice things I get for you. The stones, jewelery is not it fun to get them. I mean who ever brought us gift growing up? Its worth the distance and trust me the day you retire you will find me next door and I promise you and I will trot the globe and ditch our bitter halfs.

Now about the apartment yes, you did see our big TV (please do not convert the amount its not worth it!). And yes our apartment has commode and yes I clean with paper. In fact I have come to like it seems so much better. Some day when you come here you will like it too. I have all the gadgets that help me cook stuff such as pathrode, holige and anything you can think of in less than an hour. And no there are no lizards or cockroaches in my apartment and NO I do not follow your idea of soaking the vessels in water in the sink over night. I find that to be disgusting. We have here something called dishwasher that as it suggests washes dishes for me.

I have also set up a small corner for God and as per your instruction I do pooja whenever I have time. Unlike Austin bay area has a lot of relatives so we end up going to all the functions you can think of! Which gives me an opportunity to wear the dresses you send. Chethan and I are very happy together but we fight a lot too. I do not think it is bad to fight because as mummy said,"Not fighting is a sign that something's not OK!" So do not worry about us. We will be together for a longer time than you can ever imagine.

Now about gold that you asked me to buy. I will not be doing so because my education stops me from doing so. Let me explain it to you in a simple manner. Say you want to buy gold at Rs.800 today and plan to sell it at Rs.1500 after some time and let that time be say 3 years. Which means that the profit you will make after three years will be Rs.700. Consider that you invest the same money in bonds for 3 years at 5% interest rate it will get you at the end of three years principal that is Rs.800 plus interest that is, Rs.120 for three years which is a total of Rs.920. I know you are thinking I am stupid. But the trick is the element of tax. The gold you sell will be subject to long term capital gain I guess its 10% right now and I hope you declare it as income tax and not cheat. In that case you end up paying Rs.150 and end up getting less than Rs.700 in all. Bond on the other hand is not only tax free (of course there are front and back loads but that do not affect the returns too much and always match inflation ex: TIPS or something similar can be found in India) but also the interest that it earns can be accummulated and invested in gold or some other form of investment there by making your portfolio diversified and secure. That is when prudent investment in equity and other form of investments can earn more and better returns. This is called as the diversified portfolio returns a concept researched and thought about by great Noble Laureates such as Harry Markowitz.

I understand your urge to advise me well on the savings part trust me I am pretty much covered. Also gold has sentimental attraction meaning the gold coins you will buy will not be cashed but made into an ornament. Then how does it become an investment and not a fancy? Do invest in gold but not always and not all your savings. It should be part of your portfolio but not all of it. Remember all that goes up has to come down. Currently there is a bubble forming in gold and savings and beleive me George Soros is surely watching!

So my sister be aware. Now coming to me living harmoniously with Chethan. Do you think I will ever let go of a person who met with my expensive demands not once asking why should I do it for you? He complied with my will and for that I will be ever indebted to him. For me there are a very few Gods and they are all mortals who gave me a chance to get educated and be what I am today.

And as far you are concerned I might not call just as much or I might not write to you just as much but remember one thing that my heart is filled with you, kids, bhava, mom-dad and Chutney. I love you guys and at one wink will give my life for you!

So quit crying, wipe your tears and get on your feet. Hug your kids and peck their cheeks. For in them you will see me and I will see you and love you..Forever!

Your sister/rockstar,
Roopa


Well the letter was a dynamite but apparently it never reached her. Why? Because stupid LIC listed it as spam and USPS poked so many holes into my letter that Anu could not read a single word. So much for pensmanship. My ass! So finally I decided to put it up on my blog. One of my friends who lives in the same neighborhood who also follows my blog asked me to put it up here so that she can show it to my sister and laugh her ass off while my sister cries off her own......;-)