Showering baby

Clinking glasses, roars of laughter, endless discussion about diapers on a house that rests on top of a mountain all point toward only one fact--Yes, its me stuck in a high society baby shower. By all ways and means I could have avoided going to the torture session but my friends are too precious to me and to refuse any invitation whatever or whereever that maybe is an inconcieveable crime to me. Apparently my guilt dragged me to this baby shower where women wore clothing that only revealed and hid nothing. Not that I am against it but then the invite never mentioned the attire and turns out friends called each other and decided upon the clothes and to my further shock turns out that the baby shower was not exactly a big surprise.

Boom! Yep thats how my heart and head exploded when I walked into that multi million dollar house on the hills of Palo Alto. In my salwar kameez I stuck out like a sore thumb. It was totally embarassing. Of course not to mention the roving eyes of the fellow women. No matter what class holds a baby shower somehow or the other the subjects of the crowd manage to boggle me with "THE Question!" "So do you have any kids?" To that I reply with a drag,"NO." And thats exactly when old women drop their jaw and other women younger to them and older to me go,"Ohhh!" In fact they might not say it but their looks manage to send me a loud and clear message--"Are you infertile?" Yep I know thats exactly what they are thinking because one time I had a woman practically ask me that. Of course that one woman was an innocent home maker whose kids were her pride. But to get this kind of a response from high society working women came to me as quite a surprise. Guess finally not all that glitters is gold. Not all that is exposed exposes the brain. Brain is deliberately made to think narrow!Bad judgment about people on my part atleast I guess.

For the first few minutes I managed to dodge the question and finally a stout woman who thought she was blessed spread the word and thats when everyone was overly sympathetic to me as though not having kids meant that I was fatally ill or something. Ignoring everyone else I moved on to socialize with all other speicmens. Apparently our high society friends find it hard to cook with two children and a 2600 square feet house to manage. At that very moment when the hostess was saying about her issues the maid and her husband walked into the out house. Uh Oh! The secret was out. And immediately she started to cover her neatly manicured fingers and pedicured feet. HIllarious. And the best part was when she revealed her great dishes. Guess what they were. Well don't strain your brain because what she cooked happened to be a no brainer. Yep! She prepared sandwiches vegetarian and non vegeterian. About 10 of them and to that she added crackers with chocolate and whipped cream and yummmmmmm! strawberries. Her dish was applauded by everyone and I just could not keep myself from laughing my ass off!

On the contrary I praised her too and just then someone said looking at me,"You made nan khatai they are good but too much butter." And I wanted to slap that woman and say,"Screw you bitch. The sandwich you are stuffing into your mouth has more mayo than your ass can store!" But of course I filtered my devil and went on with a smile so artificial that even Aishwarya would be ashamed. I took my plate full and sat in a corner eating on my own while a bunch of them stood munching and discussing about gucci, diapers, eating and potty schedules of their kids to "You know my water broke three weeks before my baby shower." And thats when I threw up all that I had eaten. The woman was so loud that a lot of other women lost their appetitie too! That gave me some solace," After all I was not the only one!"

Seeing me getting bored to death the hostess came to my rescue and asked me to join and I explained my inability to indulge in the joy of motherhood. An answer that made her give me that look,"What's wrong with you!" Thankfully at that very moment another woman who was in the same boat as mine came and sat next to me. Turns out that she works as a strategic consultant in a pharmecutical company and we set off talking about strategies, from Hurd of HP, to currencies to Greece. God was I happy! With her time just flew. But as they say all good things come to an end. And so did my company. Hostess announced time to open gifts. She took the first gift, read the name of the presenter and explained the function of the gift. Good Lord!

Imagine this someone gives a breast pump and the lady gives a demo! Yes sounds scarry does not it! It was and that's why I packed my bags, gave my good friend a tight hug, congratulated her and patted her back to have been not only born into a high society to but have gotten married into one. Trust me its not easy. I almost died and I was there only for two hours.

I guess its just me. Maybe if she comes to my baby shower probably she will find us higher middle class folks similar to the Baltic Vikings! Well if she does then so be it! Because I know that there will be showers and there will be people and there will also be discussion that will make me uncomfortable. But irrespective of all that I feel and think I will still attend them and bite my way through it thinking when the hell will I find some one in the crowd who will talk more than babies, diapers, sales, and being penny wise.

Nothing against such discussions maybe people on the other side of the fence seem to think what I talk is irrelevant to the situation and I will give it to them but as far as I am concerned God no matter what function I am in, please shower me with anything but babies, diapers and........

Amen!