Proud like a peacock

Question- Is google talk intrusive or say convinient? Difficult to answer isn't it? If I get time I sure would love to chat and get in touch with everyone I love and know. But recently thanks to my rendevouz with one of my long lost nephews I realized that whenever I send emails to a person with a gmail ID the person gets automatically added to the chat list. And so did he, my nephew.Taking full advantage of the opportunity he pinged me.Honestly it had been a long time since I had a chat with anyone from his family.So I responded of course gladly!

When I lived in Mangalore I was in touch with them but then as time passed things changed and so did I. I never forgot my brother-in-law's generosity when I was in college for which I still respect him but I never re-connected because my life had taken a turn for good. And the new life had too many characters to deal with and one more addition would only complicate it. Also once I moved to Mangalore I realized that a holy circle had already been formed years ago and I could never break into the group of the chosen ones. For them I was the city girl, a subject of criticism, which of course I ignored and took only good. It was only later in life when my status changed that people's opinion changed (atleast that's what I think) which also lead to this great google chat with my long lost nephew.

He somehow made it to some engineering college and like so many boyz and girlz back home he is happy and proud like a peacock. He is at the age and time where he thinks that the skill he is learning will make him god's gift to mankind. Well I used to think the same at his age until harsh realities of life bit me right in the ass. However he comes from not so great a family background and hopefully he will take the family status up and open the gateway to America.

Never mind I am ofcourse very proud of him but at some time I had to give him a reality check. He began the conversation with what are you doing and I answered that I graduated from shcool and was working for a botique investement firm. He asked me which school and I replied Leavey School of Business at Santa Clara University, CA. For which his response was what's that some online school? Never heard of it before. He continued by saying is it any good? And then he went on with his ballad of praise about how hep his college was and so and so forth.

This answer shocked me for a simple reason that the college he goes to in India is at the best a dump with probably 100's and 1000's of kids competing against each other for the same job in all parts of India. It's unfortunate that he believes that as an engineer he would be a Rockstar. Well life does not work like that. Being arrogant is not hep. That is not the American way. Being kicked out from the house at the age of sixteen is the AMERICAN WAY. WOrking three jobs to stay afloat is THE AMERICAN WAY! Dressing up like a hobster is not the AMERICAN WAY! I wanted to say all that and more but then I let him talk becaue I know that within a few years he would be a frustrated little engineer looking for something else to just grow thereby proving Maslow's pyramid of needs true that not all needs are related to money and that there are other professions that exist on this earth which demand equal respect.

On the contrary my other nephew his first cousin owns a hotel in a city in south karnataka. He was never a bright kid but was always an amazing business man. Every single one of them criticized him for his choice of profession. My own aunt went,"Who will marry him?" My answer was well who cares? What if he does not get married and remains single? How does it matter? I am glad that he actually has done me so proud that now he owns a nice fancy apartment in the city and a car. He works and earns for himself. Honestly he is living my dream. Or lets say my plans are a little bit different but nevertheless the same. No matter how much my nephew brags unlike the hotelier he will always work for someone else. What a shame that he is not grounded! What a shame that his education did not teach him to be humble!

Apparently in my profession and experience I have come across proud peacocks, an extremely rare sight to savor ( I have met their very same peers who are surprisingly sweet and humble). One who claim that top 5 is the best and bulge brackets excellent. Well good for them. But my research has proven that ones with maximum success are the most humble. The only exception to the rule is a genius. They are arrogant because they are geniuses. But they accept their mistakes and improve and that is the reason they are geniuses. My experience in school and life has taught me to keep myself in check and I am glad I do that. After all there will always be someone better than me. How many could I possibly compete with? The most important lesson in life is seeing the rise of a person who we never expected to rise!

Well as the chat continued my nephew went on with his plans to work and he mentioned how very little much MBA from some school mattered and how he planned to do it in some fancy school. I asked him which school and replied I**** (I wanted to laugh my ass off but then I ignored him. Nothing against I**** just that he lives and breathes in a bubble that makes him think I**** is better than IIM or ISB or any other college. That is his level of maturity) Well lets move on.

Like every other good aunt I offered him help if he ever wanted to study further. Immediately came his reply,"I am good. My aim is to make money not waste more." That was the moment I bid him adieu and went on with my life. Of course I blocked him forever. What is the point in chatting with people who think education is a waste of money? Ignorance and lack of common sense is not going to take him far. Not wanting to study further is a different issue but being judgemental and unable to understand someone else's perspective is stupid.

I wonder who mentors him? Who would? Very rarely do kids listen to anyone be it in India or the US. Well that was stupid to ask since his college and peers probably made him believe that he can fly rockets and therefore act like a prima donna. But my interaction with him kept a throbbing pain in my head the burnt of which had to be borne my own sister's son. ;-)

The next time I called my sister's son I made it very clear to him that engineering is not Moses's stick that can divide a sea. Its just a means to a source. He is thirteen and did not follow a word of what I was saying infact he was more busy with list of things he needed from the US. How cute and innocent and I hope he remains so or he knows that Rupa masi is going to whup his ass up.

I know at the age of twenty kids are dumb atleast I was. But to have the nerve to judge and then criticize someone and something you have no idea about is absolutely not acceptable. Being a peacock is one thing but opening feathers when there is no rain is another thing. Again its not about profession its just about knowing what oneself and respecting others. When did this happen to kids in India. Where are these words coming from? Our culture is of tolerance and respect. Are we loosing it or is it just this one kid that behaved so. I hope I am wrong and I hope there is hope. Because if this is how the future generation behaves then I do wonder how India would look or feel? Like a proud peacock or like it should be, humble, kind, loving and of all grounded?