Veena

Gangadhar, my mother's late brother and wife Vasanti had three children. Two boys, Chandrashekhar and Ashok, and one girl, Veena. My uncle and aunt doted on their daughter for a simple reason that she was indeed their only daughter. She was not exactly a looker. Her features and face structures reminded everyone of my aunt. But all the cons were compensated by one thing that she inherited from her father. His translucent fair skin for which she was praised by one and a lot many other people.

The hotel my uncle worked in did not pay much for him to support his family in the city. So from the very begining my uncle and aunt left their children at my aunt's parents home in a tiny village. My aunt never complained for one reason that Veena lived with her parents and the other that she was not pretty or educated and she was overly indebted to my uncle for choosing her as a life partner. But whenever came summer my aunt would beg my uncle to bring atleast Veena with them. And to her surprise one of the summers my uncle consented and that is how I met Veena for the first time. I was seven and she was eight although she always claimed to be younger to me.

My aunt was the one to open the door when we knocked one hot summer afternoon. The instant she saw us she gave us a big smile. There was some kind of honesty in that smile that made her dark skin glow. Her pointy face swung from one end to the other and she instantly hugged each one of us. She invited us in and went straight into the kitchen to serve us with whatever goodies she had made for her youngest kid. I was somewhere in my fifth or the sixth bite when I heard voices. It was my uncle and Veena.

As soon as she entered the room my mother went and hugged her and my uncle. My mother was and is still deeply fond of her siblings. Gangadhar mama as I called my uncle, gave a small laugh out and sat down with us. It is then that he called me and introduced me to Veena. The words he said were,"Roopa say hi to your cousin Veena.She has come a long way to play with you." Saying so he took my hands and put it on Veena's hands. And that's when I saw her face for the first time. It stunned me to see that she was indeed as people said,"A splitting image of her mother."Suddenly my thoughts were disturbed because Veena grabbed my hand and took me to the place where her bag was. She dug her hands into it and pulled out a box. She opened it and showed me her shiny gold earrings.

She held the earrings next to her ear and told me that her mother had said that the gold earrings were supposed to be dowry for her wedding. I did not exactly understand what she was saying and was speechless when she asked me whether my mother had bought earrings for me? Her question made me uncomfortable and I found her to be nosy. Even at this age it does not occur to me ask some questions the way others do. Not that its wrong but I have trouble processing or answering some questions because I probably never think of them myself.

I tried to avoid the question and asked her if she had something to play and she quickly pulled cards out of her bag which we played for some time and then she again started asking me questions which I never understood. And when it was time to leave I was relieved.

The next time I met her was after five years when I was twelve. Even then I guess there was trouble syncing up with her because in some way our thoughts never matched. She never travelled to school the way I did. She walked two miles to her school at all ages. Whereasat the age of seven I was used to waking up at 5.30am and running to catch my bus at 6.15am and then a train at 6.30am to be school at 7.00am. Veena's jaws would just drop at the mention of my schedule and she would swear that her parents would never let her do that.

I guess our upbringing was a big problem. My parents made it very clear to me and my sister at a very young age that we were to fend for ourselves. Whereas her parents trained her to be a good wife and worked towards that one single goal of theirs. Thus making our ideas and opinions poles apart.

The biggest draw back was language. She went to Kannada and I went to English medium shcool and as a result we never could discuss the same authors of books. Although I tried to read Kannada books with great difficulty to impress her but I never got the response I needed. Then there was the issue with movies. I saw hindi and english movies whereas she only saw Kannada movies. I did try to watch some kannada movies to give her company but I got bored very soon. Then it was the career path. The mere mention of commerce made her hate me because for her only intellects were the ones who chose science as their career path. Of course I do not blame her for her ignorance. She after all lived in a village where there were less than 1000 people. But at the same time somewhere I saw that she was busy chasing wild goose. She tried to socialize more with the rich cousins thinking they were her equal. Of course the rich ones ignored her always. And there was always this comparison done between her and me that probably created this unseen veil between us. How I wished she opened up more to me but apparently she never did.

To this date I remember the day when she failed to make it to engineering or medicine. She was devastated. I tried talking to her but she considered me to be below her because of my education. That's when I gave up. At the time things were not exactly hunky dory for her. She had just lost her father and her mother was duped of all her money by her own brother in law. Her brothers had dropped out of school to support the family. Their house was half done. And they were practically in the middle of nowhere in their lives.

After some days she herself came out of her cocoon and decided to do BSc. I was happy for her. As long as she paced the trail one foot in front of the other. A few years later we both graduated more or less at the same time. I went on to do post graduation and she stayed home for some time. In other words she showed her willingness to get married. Her brother called me one day and asked me if Veena could do the same degree that I was doing. I happily explained the procedure but never heard back. Then another day I got a call from my aunt asking about MSc. I gave her the necessary contacts but again silence followed. Worried I called them back only to have Veena pick the call and tell me that she did not need any one's help and that she would be just fine.

Later my mother told me that Veena's brother wanted her to study further because they never got a chance to do the same. If not they atleast wanted her to work so as to put money together for her marriage. Apparently she refused to do either of those. Her mother finally resigned to her fate and started hunting for a good groom.

For a long time she refused a lot of prospective grooms.My aunt told us that she wanted someone educated or a non resident. Well the harsh reality in our community atleast is that non residents need someone in their own profession or someone loaded. It was implicit that big looked for big. And as far as the educated ones are concerned they wanted working wives which she outright refused to be. So the problem did not solve for a long time until one day a miracle (I wish would've never happened) happened. Srinidhi bhava's family was tipped about Veena. Since bhava's mother works herself she was very clear that she wanted a daughter in law who had finished minimum of a degree or diploma just like her son.Although Srinidhi Bhava never used his skills because they were pretty well off with a hotel and other business.

Veena initially refused the proposal saying Srinidhi was a business man until someone assured her of the fact that their business was more than disaster proof and that she was lucky to have gotten a proposal from someone like Srinidhi Bhava. With great effort she agreed to meet bhava and sparks flew all over. We were all happy that she had finally found what she had desired for.

It was sometime in November that she got married. By then I was secretly engaged to the man of my dreams. Those were happy times. We finished her wedding,drove them off in a big van to her new home, and we went back to our nests. Time flew and six months later I got married and came to the US. Then Veena had a baby. Things seemed normal for a long time when one fine morning my brother in law called me at odd hours and said,"Veena's husband just died." For a minute my brain kept searching for all Veena's except my cousin. My brother in law smelt my silence and went,"Roopa its Veena. Our Veena." And that's when I dropped the phone and gave out a cry so fierce that it woke my husband up. I kept pacing the apartment up and down not knowing where to go and what to do?

Life was fine until a minute ago and suddenly it was in tatters. Nothing made sense. She was hardly married for an year. They just had a baby boy. They were happy. Srinidhi bhava was too young to die. Something was wrong so I called again and then I heard my mother wailing and I knew it was over.

Silence for one day and then many days and then when I did call my sister she told me that within a month Veena's brother in law died. Her in laws were devastated. Veena had broken into pieces. Within a month she had seen two people burnt down to ashes. A house that once was happy had now become a grave yard.

Again silence. Months passed and this time when I called my mother had some smile in her voice. She said Veena was offered a job in the college where her brother in law slipped and fell down the stairs to his death. I was shocked. Was this the same Veena who once refused to marry a guy who would ask her to work? Then I heard a wonder happen. Seems like she wakes up at 5.30am, cooks, cleans, gets the kid ready, leaves him with her in laws and leaves for work at 7.00am to catch two buses to reach her place of work. Bigger wonder was that she also was in talks with the college to let her study further.

Un-freaking-beliveable!"What are we but pawns in the hands of life and time." How true are those words! A girl who's jaws once dropped at the mention of my schedule today lives hectic a life than I ever did. A girl who detested the very idea of getting educated is today considering her options! A girl who once went into fit at the mention of work today actually works.

The last time I met Veena's mother I told her I did not have the courage to face her. I asked my aunt what next? For which she gave me a blank stare and started to sob. After sometime she held my hands and said,"I was born ill fated and these kids were born from my nasty stomach and now ill fate is haunting them too! I feel like someone took a knife and stabbed deep into my heart. My daughter is now stuck with her life because her in laws do not think that she should get married because they fear that they would loose the child! What am I supposed to do Roopa? Go away from here or my ill fate will affect you!"

It was at that minute that I hugged her and cried so much that at one point Chethan peeked inside the house got scared and started to search for something, anything that would make us stop. Well what he did not know was that what my aunt wanted was someone to hug her tight and lie to her that everything would be alright.

A lie so brutal that it made no sense. A lie that was more of a fantasy. Because the truth is that nothing would ever be the same again.

A lot of people at lot of times wanted and wished Veena were a bit more responsible. And here we are. Each one of us with our granted wish looking at Veena and cursing the day we wished, trying to take every one of our words back.

Because Veena's life showed us no matter who believs what or behaves how! When times change, circumstances change, life becomes one's teacher and makes Veena out of every one of us. And that is the only truth I will ever believe in ever!




May God bless and guide her and her son. Srinidhi bhava will remain in all of our hearts forever!
Amen